As I sit here and watch my ONE YEAR OLD eat his breakfast I can't believe its been a year since I LITERALLY delivered my little (7lbs 12.5oz) Kingaroo into this world. This first year has been filled with so many laughs, tears, sleepless nights, frustration, poopy diapers, growth, beauty, and new friends all thanks to you Kingsley James! I wanted to write my own birth story as well as have my mom write her perspective of her little girl taking her first steps into motherhood. Birth stories are some of my FAVORITE blog posts to read. I hope this post helps encourage other women to be open about their births and to celebrate our mama strength by appreciating how different our stories can be from one another. WARNING ITS LONG BUT WORTH IT!
Let me first start off by saying I had this beautiful idea of how my labor and delivery would go. There would be music, birds singing, pain I could manage, labor mostly at home, and most importantly no medicine. I would have an ALL NATURAL labor and delivery but my body had other ideas. I was upset first when I had to be induced and then again when I had to get an epidural four hours after being induced. Instead of being upset and dwelling on the negative I chose to rise above my personal disappointment and be thankful that whether or not my "birth plan" went how I imagined it would our healthy baby boy made it earth side. And if motherhood has taught me anything it is that you can plan, plan, and plan but it most likely will not go as planned. motherhood is a fun but terrifying rollercoaster.
Our birth story begun on June 4th, 2017 @ 3AM. My water broke. In a panic I woke Keith up and let him know. He jumped out of bed SO fast "what do I do?! what do I do?!" Trying to remain calm I told him "go let my parents know and I'm going to take a shower" (my priorities are a mess I know). I took a shower, did my hair and even took a nap. After our nap we grabbed our bags and made our way to the hospital. Let me tell you, if I ever have another baby I am tempted to go back to Oregon. The hospital in Astoria was AMAZING! They didn't take me off food. I could bring my dog while I labored (As long as they were clean and up to date on shots), if I decided to. I didn't have a limit on how many people could be in the room. They had a Masseuse come in after my baby was born to see if I wanted a massage. And, they were very respectful of your birth plan. OH! and the best part, they had a Jacuzzi tub I could labor in!
Once I arrived at the hospital and after many MANY hours of natural labor I wasn't progressing enough and since my water broke I was at risk of getting an infection so they induced me with pitocin. Let me tell you, I could handle my contractions very well BUT those pitocin contractions were like getting rammed by a train in the uterus over and over. If I could give an expecting mother one tip, it would be, if they had to get induced by pitocin DO NOT get the iv pain killer. It was a nice relief for the hour or so it lasted but man when it wore off the contractions were a thousand times worse because you can't feel them progressing.
After about four hours of pitocin contractions going back and forth from the jacuzzi tub and talking with Keith (my rock throughout this process) I decided I needed to sleep so my body could do what it needed to. I had Keith go get a nurse so I could ask for an epidural. I felt like a failure. The nurse quickly called the anesthesiologist and he rushed to the hospital. When he arrived he had my sit hunched over with my elbows on my knees and Keith holding me. After he gave me the numbing shot and was about to administer the epidural I went to look back to see the needle. Keith being my hero and remaining completely calm gently grabbed my face and shook his head no. I later found out it was because it was a GIANT needle. I wanted a natural birth so bad but if there's another thing motherhood has taught me it is you need to do what is best for your baby and I was fighting my body so much that this was the best thing for him.
After a few hours of sleeping the nurse came back in to check me and told me "okay call your parents and tell them to come back. Its time to push". Keith picked up his phone and with so much excitement called our parents. Everyone rushed back to the hospital. When they got there I was so numb still that I couldn't feel or move my legs. So Keith and his mom, Joyce, had to hold my legs up while I pushed and my mom and dad were by my head cheering me on. This didn't last long though once Keith saw the top of Kingsley's head and turned so pale and needed to switch with my mom and cheer me on standing by my head.
I was SO numb that I couldn't even feel my contractions, AT ALL, so my nurse would tell me when it was time to push. I was so numb that in between pushes I , no joke, SLEPT. (If you cant tell I was VERY numb.. haha) Finally after about an hour and half of pushing I heard the doctor say "Here comes your baby." I don't know what came over me but I lunged forward, grabbed underneath Kingsley's arms and after the doctor unwrapped his umbilical cord that was around his neck I laid back down with a sigh of relief, laid our new baby on my chest, looked Kingsley in his big brown eyes, looked up at Keith and cried! We did it! Our baby boy was here! In that moment nothing else mattered. It didn't matter that I had an epidural or if my "birth plan" went how I imagined. All that mattered was that our healthy baby boy was in our arms. I delivered my own baby at 6:15 am on June 5th, 2017 with my amazing husband, best friend, and cheerleader right by my side! In that moment I felt so bad ass (sorry grandma). I felt like I could do anything.
I later found out my delivery which I thought was very easy was actually very scary and traumatic from the other side. I was loosing a lot of blood but my doctor and everyone in the room handled everything perfectly and never let me know anything was wrong.
I couldn't have done it without my amazing husband or my family. Thank you mom, dad, Joyce and especially Keith for cheering me on and being by my side as I went through the scariest most exciting things I'll ever do.
my mom's point of view-
My dearest Kingsley,
One of the most profound moments for a mother is when her daughter takes the step from a little girl to a peer. I was on the phone with your mom when this happened between her and I; it happened as she took a pregnancy test. I heard the tinkle as she peed on the stick and I talked to her over the longest 3 minutes I can remember having ever experienced. So many things went through my mind. Was I ready to be a grandmother? I wasn't even sure I was ready to be a mother and here I was on the phone with my grown daughter as she discovered if her and your father's dreams were about to come true. Both lines turned blue - you made your existence known.
Over the next few months we documented the various stages of her belly growth and made preparations for your arrival. A party was planned and enjoyed, in early November, where it was announced that you were expected to make an arrival. Your GG was so surprised she had tears in her eyes. In December your parents announced through Facebook that you were a boy! The entire family celebrated and waited anxiously as your parents deliberated on what to name you. Your Auntie Sav and I hosted a party to shower your mother with love and advice before you arrived...then, as May was winding down and June was beginning, we waited for your arrival.
On May 24th your Sarge and I made our way up the coast to Astoria to wait for your arrival. You made your mom a little uncomfortable for a few days but she stayed in good spirits. This is where I get a little emotional so be patient my dear. I've always said your Mama is a warrior. Her name, Kelly, means "warrior of the King" and she was appropriately named. She has had a quiet (and sometime not-so-quiet) strength. She has grown from a shy and fearful little girl into a strong, creative, and independent woman. When her water broke in the early early morning we knew it would be hours (almost 30!) before you arrived so she said she was going to try to get some sleep. Hours later she became uncomfortable and we made our way to the hospital. There she labored with the support of your Dad, Sarge, Birdie, and me. We kept her as comfortable as possible by rubbing her back and feet. The day progressed and turned into night. We all were exhausted so the nurses said for grandparents to go get some sleep and they would give your mother something for the pain so she could sleep. A few hours later your Dad called Birdie to say, "get back here, please" and we made our way back to the hospital. Your mother was so strong and used all her strength to help you come into this world. The doctor encouraged her to give one more push and as she did she reached with eyes wide open to wrap her hands around your little body and helped you finish your journey. Every celestial body in the universe slowed as I watched my blue eyed, curly haired, ginger baby girl reach down like a Spartan Queen and pull her baby boy into the universe. With a sigh of relief, she laid back and rested you on her chest as the nurse wiped your little face and every person in the room stood in awe of your mother.
That morning your mother did not become my peer, she became my superior.
With deepest love,
WARNING RAW DELIVERY PHOTOS taken by the amazing Landrum Studios Photography!